Inspired By Pain

by Vitiate

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about

The 2nd full length LP release by Vitiate, this album is the product of years of hard work, pain, and utilizing what one feels to your advantage.

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released March 11, 2014

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Vitiate Brooklyn, New York

Hip-Hop artist turned audio engineer, hailing from Brooklyn, NY. Enjoy the art.

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Track Name: Inspired By Pain ft. Chino XL (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
Fearless endearment, bangin beats until my ears split/ outcasted from rap cause my appearance as a weird kid/ displaced and feel deserted since Im crazed and introverted/ and my paychecks go to verses and these beats I aint deserving/They used to say the bastard can’t rap even when he tries his hardest/ good thing Im not a fuckin rapper Im a Hip-Hop artist/ concerned Ill be deterred in the path that I turned/ get laughed off stage because every word comes out slurred/ Dishonorable, never let my common friends get comfortable/ theyre stopping cold and think my conscience is inoperable/ I should’ve been left in an orphanage or an aborted kid/ because to everyone I love my position has been fraudulent/ incredible sessions writing about suicide attempts and depression/ my deadly obsessions with the events of the present/ going insane is irony, cause if I were to drain society/ I’d hate myself more and think of ways this pain inspired me/

C) Feel my struggle, the fire in my brain/ you can understand why I’m inspired by pain/ from New York to Cali will they hear my story/ will I go down in a blaze of glory/ x2

I'm swimming through an ocean that is littered with pain/ and it swells like Orson Welles when he was directin Citizen Kane/ attracted to fame, prepare for the strain prepare for the strange/ the unexplained/ supposed friendships that run like a womans makeup in the rain/ I take up a lane and then it hydroplanes/ after a little while extremely wild and time/ wasn't really kind and mild when I was a child/ in a line of fire under a pile of corpses/ similar to Aushwitz, feelin the forces, seemingly godless hatred that is makin me nauseous/ I gotta get outta this land and this propganda/ when it's slander and the banter is a talentless cancer/ weighing for success without skills easiest answers/ I can understand why you would rather attack me than back me/ I factory realistic art like the Mona Lisa that's trippin with acne/ cursin through life and its supposed sequels, hopeless evils/ ferocious needles with potions for the ghost of pagan cloven heathens/ priest that's fiendish, dragon breathin. banished like a Hebrew leavin the Synagogue, feelin like pain is the only god he can believe in/

C)

So many tears soaked into the bedsheets when my head leaks/ these thoughts and I cant sleep I reflect on events of this last week/ I don’t know where to speak or begin, told her I just needed a friend/ but the beast that’s within almost had me leanin in and cheatin again/ I come home from a long day peelin off my ripped socks/ sighing cause theres still no message in my inbox/ blatant angry pain that sticks from relationships/ I complain all day since Im drained by acquaintances/ Saves the doubt cause I only got about 500 in my bank account/ Im just sayin that this is inspiration, nothing to complain about/ Miss to love another, cause having autism made me a gifted mothafucker/ but the social anxiety has me spittin undercover/ The odd thing is that most of my pain is really physical/ but its only the mental agony that seems like its really critical/ Inspired by the pain that often became unbearable/ now come and take this journey that I have prepared for you/

C)
Track Name: Loner ft. Clozapine (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
Have you ever been completely isolated? Totally by yourself even though you're surrounded by others. That's what it really means to be alone...And to be a loner.

I have been torn and reborn to live/ for my morbid thoughts til they pour into a storm again/ sick and deranged with issues with rage/ symptoms are plain I can’t wish them away/ my bars seem predictable, I started out miserable/ now the only friends I have are the artists I listen to/ rarely chill in fact and never interact/ show me to the door and point me to the back/ Nothin I gotta know, and it’s impossible/ one reason I think conversation is uncomfortable/ Lost and gotta ask “What”? all the time/ then I either cross or talk outta line/ Losin health as I stress out over not choosin help/ at the point I can't even introduce myself/ Can’t even talk on the phone, needs to be an online network/ fuck it, Clozapine, do the next verse/

C) I'm alone and I'm dead, and I'm dyin' inside/ And I'm a long way from home, ain't been treatin' me right/ And I'ma fall when I rise, see the hurt in disguise/ I'ma choke on my words, while I'm swallowin' knives/ x2

I distemper the night-time sky with emotions/ reflective of the saturnine look in my eyes when it's merged with oceans/ of my mind, thoughts rolling endlessly, eclipsed with the skies/ Of my enemies, no hope today, purge my inner-identity/ And I'm findin' day by day that I have more in common with this enmity/ I'm breakin' ties with people I used to call, my friends and family/ It's insanity, my contorted body in the closet, I'm my own skeleton in vanity/ And askin' me what the problem is, Isn't doin' a damn for me/ Re-open the wounds of alienation and insularity/ It's apparent to me that when I open up, It plunges me back into anomie and anonymity/ Struggling to cope with being an anomaly, severin' ties with an estranged philosophy/ I'm the cockeyed lopsided insecurity/ Addicted to smelling the roses thorn, the incarnate form/ of my separation anxiety, sobriety/ is hard to come by, goodbye, throw one down and I'm gone/

C)

I know it seems Im holding onto broken dreams/ and that no one even gets me besides maybe Clozapine/

c)Vitiate, what are we, like social outcasts, gotta be the ones to fall back/ On the rhythm when I hit 'em with an awkward flow, in the background, talk is slow/

So caustic, robotic, heartless, no conscience/ no one to stop me from going unconscious/ forgotten first, before I’m rotten under earth/

c)Spendin' my time like a broken note, the wreckage of my hearse/

Caught packaged in my body, everyone wants to label me/

c)Just a product of an autopsy, the audio beats right through me/Splice the beats, music bleeds through my irises, I'm a witness to defeat/ I'm a witness to this pain, I'm a witness

Gone insane/

Hopeless in a lonely ocean…

C)Spendin' my time openin' my emotions/ Spendin' my time skippin' the stones over The mahogany of my boat 'n just floatin/

Im fightin for a place, don’t make me a replacement/ no invitations to occasions…

c) So Im wasted/
Track Name: All I Got (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
The first girl I had feelings for, hope she hears the song/ still think about her almost if the tears were wrong/ Too young to understand the typa wife I had in mind/ despite the fights or times she’d cry that I had designed/ she had a style that was right with a smile and advice/ till loved piled on me like shes the only woman in my sight/ But of course she rejected me, absorbed in the memories/ lost in my tendencies to take whatever was offered me/ Then B was tellin me a story of what he saw before me/ she was horny for another guy and despite my every warning/ she stayed committed very faithful, listened like an angel/ till he fucked another bitch as soon as he was able/ then she spent a year depressed, when I tried to reconnect/ she said that we were friends but she had just needed breadth/ but now Im with her much more than time we spent then/ mostly cause now she dates my best friend/

C)

The roughest stuff of my never loved enough clusterfuck/ is that the only girls who like me were you know who and such and such/ suffered once too much at the lips of a subtle slut/ then fucked it up with real girls cause of my love of lust/ but you were different, I could see through your cold stare/ still don’t hold fair, run my hands through your gold hair/ Take the train to far stops to stay toward Far Rockaway/ always went for the kiss but to a “err…not today”/ We’d roam the most through mostly old groups/ since I learned that you had no real home to go to/ choke up as I lay these colder vocals/ spent more time in a week with you than with my exes total/ Heeeeeeeeeey, cheer up its OK/ even if I have no say in where you stay on most days/ All was well until I held you and you said that we shouldn’t/ crying as you told me this whole time you were dating a woman/

C)

Hold me in this place, miss you every moment Im awake/ know it’s a mistake even though I lost my faith/ Would hold your body close as you kissed these scars/ impossible to cover our 2 years in just 16 bars/ Despite my evil speech and frequent demons/ You completed me and still know my deepest secrets/ we shared every single waking detail and moment/ we compared splitting up to permanently heartbroken/ felt the harm set in my heart or next to me/ worked so hard to get back into your arms temporarily/ Always let bygones be bygones, you became my icon/ from the day you were taken and we became a time bomb/If someone enters her life Ill be tellin my daughter/ that through hell and high water if a guy offers/ to stay after times up and we know it’s a right love/ Ill be sure to never take away her happiness like mine was/
Track Name: Outcast ft. Rez the Silverback (prod. Rez the Silverback)
Addicted to this side of me, restricted by society, imprisoned by anxiety. Sometimes you gotta break away and forge your own path, like this…

Rolled with a troop of kids, never had a group of friends/tried to fit it with whatever the losers did/ Attract beef but don’t pack heat ask me/ why I skipped every track meet, because I’m not an athlete/ Still had a gnawing hatred for my lost coordination/ with my attitude costin me jobs at corporations/ Armies of thugs who live at parties and clubs/ and get hardly enough of Bacardi and drugs/ Was always too perverted sick to be a nerdy kid/ hurt a bit being rejected as worthless shit/ It’s no mystery that music peers show no sympathy/ it seems Im just another little kid with a little dream/ Clean cut, weak stuff and I never seen love/ just a text and half-hearted request to meet up/ Keep running into obstacles, stuck in the same lane/ cause it seems a conversation is impossible to maintain/

C) Outcast, outcast/ livin life Im the road because Im always alone/ Outcast, outcast/ whenever Im home, there are no calls to my phone/ Outcast, outcast/ When it comes to my friends, my best one is the pen/ Oucast, outcast/ Just a motherfuckin Outcast/

Outcast, Im an outcast/ outcast, just a motherfuckin outcast/
It’s all deception, I aint never been accepted/ tryna spread a message but the tension got me stressin/ that’s why Im so defensive, twisted and Im so demented/ in a different dimension tweakin each and every lesson/ I’m locked inside a lab, my intestines are bein tested/ I’m in the game of life and I am the failing contestant/ I’m repressed, turn checkers to a game of chess/ more or less Im an outcast but I progress/ starin at the sky wonder what will fall next/ but at the end of the day wouldn’t change how I was raised/ last of a dying breed that’s how I plan to stay/ and that’s what I’m givin you when I step on stage/ no matter the age, wisdom in its purest form/ I have been at war, demons and internal thorns/ that’s why its fuck the law, cause I don’t believe your source/ and I’m the higher power livin in a human form/

C)

So damaged it hurts with passions in verse/ barely got connects despite my collaborative work/ praised for my shamelessness by friends and acquaintances/ then some shit would happen and Im the one who’s blamed for it/ like that matters, bein outcasted by whack rappers/ and the good ones are all liars and backstabbers/ that’s why Im not prominent, they’re all thieves on top of it/ honest so Im not a part of their conglomerate/
Inadvertently it seems that no one says a word to me/no Happy Birthday or good luck on your surgery/ my brains alive with hatred and the pain of isolation/ seriously doubt I’ll be in the light or famous/ restore more like lost swords when listeners got bored/ but Im still ignored and never fully explored/ Let’s say I get rich, then people point back to this/ I’d point to my circle of friends that still doesn’t exist/

Vit and Rez….
Track Name: Not Like That ft. B-Rhymez (prod. Lasik)
I can be the hardest artist gradually with targets on the back of me/ but actually what shackles me is thinkin of market strategies/ and combat the blasphemy, attackin me in clearance/ dissin friends for not promotin me and they probably won't hear this, nope/ you know the feelin when you feel so unappealin/ Tryna build up more support and of course no source is willin/ you killin not record dealin, we're closin on a mission/ of any evidence contained in any exposure listens/ Maybe I should drop a body and sex...mmm/ maybe I should pop a molly and sweat, look/ if a rapper drops some of the illest bars underground/ but no ones around to hear him does he really make a sound?/ Why should I try my hardest, all my will and all my mental/ when one label Im destined to sign with is unfulfilled potential/ some shit in my thoughts, the hallways in my dreams/ when I tell someone I rap but things ain't always what it seeeems/

C) I'm strugglin with hope, every track I promote/ every post every note no one act like they know/ you'd think I'd be evolvin but it's not like that/ the best get the love no it's not like that/ x2

Dope of course, but I feel that hope is short/ only thoughts around because I just get no support/ wanna stop and wait till someone sends some shots my way/ guess it’s not today, no one shared the page its commonplace/ Another awkward performance that they caught before this/ I lost it of course because they’re so unsupportive/ it seems to be imbalanced so speak to me about it/ people care less when I reach a new degree of talent/ unless Hot 97 airs it tonight they don’t care in the slight/ wont even take a second to give you a share and a like/ It’s a game of emotions where everywants fame in a moment/ and the only options we have is to pay for promotion/ fear better, near death and it’s a career ender/ asking for help and it appears to be peer pressure/ then I claim theyre liars and just want a spot right back/ all they can do is stutter saying “Bro it’s not like that”!/

C)
Track Name: Gift (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
Admission that my position is a bit switched up/ from a mental condition, and in my specialist vision/ I know it’d either be this life or federal prison/ preach unacceptable wisdom though Im just general livin/ Too skinny for the whiskey, no pennies for the Henny/ but plenty of envy that’s left to tempt me/ Coldest at best, have yet to garner respect/ Im carrying the baggage around as an emotional wreck/ My leg still hurts all the time, my lips tell all the lies/ wake up every morning fienin for a 40 of Colt 45/ Bleeding inside so don’t tell me that this shitll be fine/ because Ive been depressed for as long as Ive been alive/ Every day Im endin weak, cause I love a girl I never see/ especially when my mind makes her out to be the enemy/ Cant add more salt to the wounds cause it’s not even her fault/ Now keep the thoughts secret, locked away in a vault/

C) Why does it even come to this/ Ive been drained of all my blood to give/ Im not convinced that love exists/ I coulda past up on such a gift/

Past the love in our next discussions, depressions crushes/ the tension rushes so I begin to abuse an expensive substance/ Still choke and about to fall that will kill hope after all/ so now I just choose between pills, coke, and alcohol/ Now I admit that Ive been gifted/ but feel cheated since Im sick and am autistic/ Cant save face, filled with insane hate and my aims basic/ make a stained statement as a chronic pain patient/ The trilogy from W.H.I.T.E., I wrote that for the hell of it/ still a skeleton knowing that every word remains relevant/ Stuck in a hole till death, stuck in my loneliness/ stuck with no hope of rest, stuck with my cold intents/ I seize up, see stuff that hits my weak gut/ like a complete punch when I hear my knees crunch/ wish I could live my life out with no regrets/ because the worst part is realizing that this is all we get/

C)
Track Name: Illness ft. Morbid Complex (prod. Teknodrome)
Coordination gone and socially retarded/ autist caustic who feels heartless often/ only interaction comes when I get liquored up/ gotta start every day with a routine similar/ I attack more than rhyme combat no finds calm that/ fine on tracks but can’t make eye contact/ Awe-Tistic made everyone who heard its thoughts twisted/ but gave em more business when the retard jokes crossed limits/ Ideas never come simple, Im paranoid with trust issues/ but you don’t need em when no girls wanna fuck with you/ Clear as this, weird as shit with people fearin appearances/ steered wrong away from the lyricist/ My own mind drags me in and I barely can write/ resigned to be the weirdo with no friends based off stereotypes/Choose the descriptions, Im confused every minute/ that and my personality is super addictive/ Snap and keep it active, lackin the proper passion/ here only because its my mind that keeps me captive/ It isn’t exciting, no matter what the witness implying/ cause its still inside and the sickness is rising/

C) Im still here and real sick, yes I got an illness/ hurtin many feelins, I don’t wanna feel this/guess I gotta play the villain/ Yes I got an illness, yes I got an illness/ x2

You know about anxiety, fuck ya don't/ I don't know why I try to explain because you won't/ you know how it feels when your heads still pounding/ and the mind goes insane and simulates drowning/ and right before you drown everything goes dark/ then something pulls you out and you begin from the start/ lookin at my hands, cuff me/ razor blades on the floor, bloody/ I can't see shit, sweat and tears in my eyes/ watch the kid inside me as he gradually dies/ I feel a little dizzy, a little lightheaded/ got no time to dread it I just wanna forget it/ but here comes the panic, motivation for an addict/ take a few pills to try to end the inner conflict/ I can't breathe, I can't focus/ suddenly my room has more spinnin shit than in a circus/ get tunnel vision like Im followin the white rabbit/ my brain transmits these weird thoughts and won't quit/ I'm the director of life, I got control, you know what/ sometimes I wanna put a knife to my throat and just cut/ You try to live with this shit and not kill yaself/ every day you wake up being tricked by your health/ you try to breathe when you feel there's no air/ I'm being choked, panic, despair/

C)

Hoping for a cure for me/ Past my insecurity/ shit is scary cause I may be a visionary/ but those who listen say mentally he isn’t ready/ need love and soon, which I seek sunk in booze/ seems like I lose when I freeze up in groups/ play the part don’t act it though, stuck in battle mode/ unattractive, slow like I’m always prone to catch a cold/ and that’s the only thing I can catch, stand tests/ never planned rest that was damned against bad sex/ Those around me make me feel the most sociopathic but less important/ and being left with post-traumatic stress disorder/ anxious and paranoid, I’m avoidant and can’t enjoy/ being in anguish and scared of noise, autistic and stand annoyed/ Fighting through the tension, no blessings in this section/ unlike the daily lessons Im stuck in a cycle of depression/ Can’t ride a bike, catch a ball, tie my shoes/ find the light, take Adderall, anything I try to do/ they say Im made of hatred and extended it violently/ illness got me tossed to the outer edge of society/ Most damage happens when I go savage/ no passage past this and can’t plan marriage/ it overlaps every task and Im so damn combative/ at least soon enough till I die hard like old habits/

C)
Track Name: Disbelief (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
Let’s begin with the first sign of religions ill effects/ early Mesopotamia with the Epic of Gilgamesh/ Stories of gods who flood the Earth as killers/ wrath on the population, does it sound familiar/ A man named Abram hears the story and moves away/ settles in another land where he knew the way/ His presence felt by all his descendants/ Sections of the Epic become Noahs story as lessons/ Meanwhile the Egyptians had made their own religion/ thousands of gods, not a single contradiction/ 500 years after all the Jews were taken captive/ their firstborns were killed, others tortured by famine/ Now they praised their god for this natural occurrence/ hurt many persons to be put into his service/ On a righteous path to try to get it right/ so they genocided and killed all the Amalekites/ Hinduism formed with a polytheistic description/ and created the Vedas, the longest religious text ever written/ Thousands of pages with over a million inscriptions/ many came together to make a more intricate vision/ Moving onto the gods created by the Greeks and Romans/ epics and Odysseys written by Socrates and Homer/ Ignited violence decided when cultures collided/ Herod killed babies, later aided by Pilate/ Crucifixion of Jesus because of his newer vision/ led to a powerful split within Judaism/ The disciples preached his message throughout almost every land/ but the Gospels were written decades later secondhand/ the church was founded on this so called indivisible force/ but almost none of them came from an original source/ Wondrous, because of their Christian covenant/ they were killed on sight by the Roman government/ Few deterred, they believed in the birth by a virgin/ which Constantine saw as a connection and converted/ In between matches and attackin shit/ the Vikings and Mongols made their own practices/ Even Native Americans were praying for a benefit/ Many gods of nature had always set the precedent/ But the Aztecs heard the gods, their stomachs growlin/ thunder soundin meant they started sacrificin thousands/ Enter Muhammed the prophet of proper Islamic/ concoctions which started some diabolical problems/ Through conversion they spread where they were searchin/ but were soon divided by Egyptian and Turkish/ In 1095 God needed warriors, he chooses some/ They killed whole villages of Jews on the way to Jerusalem/ Hate and arms brought by the Crusader army/ hardly any Arabs were spared by their strongest posses/ Tens of thousands slaughtered by burning down cities/ pity was not with Christians during this history/ And this spread global with over 9 Crusades total/ focal point of all, the fall of Constantinople/ 6,000 European children, all lost to the wilderness/ because the Pope thought theyd be protected by their innocence/ Simple pages of history skip over the Middle Ages/ it left the European population in killer anguish/ Science was hindered by ancient biblical texts/ no one even believed that the earth was round yet/ The church gained control within a simple position/ decisions started to begin the mass Inquisitions/ Slaughtered endlessly, tortured for centuries/ all across Europe with no ending release/ any enemy of the Vatican or nonbeliever of Christ/ would be stabbed again, cut up and sliced/ The Black Death spread now throughout the mid-1300s/ It was thought of as a righteous Gods justice/ Church people rushed over as soon as the symptoms presented/ so Christian and Islamic priests were the first people infected/ Simpletons thought theyd be saved by the innocence/ as the disease consumed them and they prayed for deliverance/ The Plague ended and the rebuilding process began/ but once again the foundation was set firmly on sand/ The walls around the Vatican grew and got thicker/ they began hiring priests who didn’t even study the Scripture/ The sickness brought a severe shortage of ministers/ these new recruits injured the church by being evil and sinister/ Henry VIII wanted a son for all of life, as often he tried/ so he tried to find out why he couldn’t by divorcing his wife/ In vain again he asked the Pope to change it then/ but he didn’t so to abstain from sin he became an Anglican/ the exact same church, with the allowance of divorce/ thought it was righteous, giving him control over the courts/ When people landed in America, they had their first interaction/ with people they condemned to inferior for not being Catholic/ attacked them, made them slaves with their straps in/ unmatched for power, America became an attraction/ The Puritans formed a colony just so they could practice/ being role models without French Calvinist distraction/ It was Imperative the Puritans burned all Heretics/ hundreds burned alive in Salem for refusing penitence/ For over a hundred years war was raging in Europe/ over 11 million dead, only from this one sure cut/ Separation of the eventful presentations, estimated/ that this hatred stemmed from the German Reformation/ All while Bishops demanded from peasants every penny that they owned/ just so they could take out an indulgence on their soul/ Now the American immigrants are calling themselves civilians/ which led to the massacre of many millions of Indians/ The war between Muslims sects were still going on/ massacres between Christians, still going strong/ The government issued a word of caution to the Mormons/ made them leave their land, through guns and extortion/ Its especially sad that so much death exceptionally/ has been caused by religion in the 20th century/ Fuck em, corruption at this level is abundant/ the Christian Armenians genocided by the Turkish Muslims/ Wailing in fear as they died in the sand near/ almost comparable to the American Trail of Tears/ Millions of Armenians wiped out in a few short years/ all because of religion, as should be often clear/ To some six million Jews, it seemed all was lost/ Hitler bent on eradicating them all during the Holocaust/ Whatever it takes, he said he was cleansing the state/ millions burned alive simply because of their faith/ Here it is again in the clearest sense/ thousands more subjected to medical experiments/ Then the war ended, we thought we’d make laws better/ but then Israel was formed simply because of more pressure/ Exceptionally true, almost no true difference between Arabs and Jews/ except when the Palestinians were attacked and then had to be moved/ It has me confused, these are things religion can actually do/ that was 1949 and till this day they’re having a feud/ Backtrack a bit to around 1947/ Hindus genocided for those looking to heaven/ Take lessons, as now these issues mentioned are still a presence/ Muslim extremists doing the work of God on 9/11/ Power spills as the world is being devoured still/ that day alone because of faith, there were thousands killed/ Its all fiction and wrong fakes, missin the point played/ as another 86 are killed by an extremist Christian in Norway/ Even today in Islam, women are stoned and beheaded/ people killing off sects just for their little pieces of heaven/ Priests stand on the altar, praising Jesus and smile great/ by next Sunday, they’re facing a few charges of child rape/ Picking and choosing certain holy book passages/ religion the only reason we still don’t have gay marriages/ Religion is nothing, just another empty shell/ ask yourself If you’d still follow without any threats of hell/ Religion has killed more humans than any other invention/ religion realizes that fear is its most powerful weapon/ Be free in the scheme of things, use logic and reasoning/ turn to YOURSELF if you ever see resolve weakening/ Besides, it’s clear to me that no God exists/ cause if he does, he’s one evil son of a bitch/
Track Name: Ain't No Grave (prod. Rez the Silverback)
Violence sways to slice my veins find a way/ to file pain and take my final life away/ and now the illest to spit is a kid with a lisp/ whose visions consist of what a prison depicts/ From prescription sessions my addictions lessened/ and I was still moving Bibles into the fictions section/ Through the trials and tribulations and vile incriminations/ I still smile and try to rise to your expectations/ Thinkin my life is through, dying in an ICU/ and it might be true my dad was suicidal too/ Can’t find a doctor in a position to try and treat me/ since I was born with a deposition to diabetes/ Survived the bleeding and looked for a life worth leading/ and instead found violence seeping out where my skin is creasing/ catastrophic sounds when I had a lot endowed/ now there’s no amount of weight that can hold my body down/

C)

Itll be quick certainty, blade to my wrists vertically/ swore I would slit after another missed surgery/ to restore my smell and taste, the pressure takes/ its toll even though I don’t believe that hell awaits/ For certain, it even hurts t write this song in first person/ cant care for myself, let alone when my girls hurtin/ speaking of her love, I see her once every 2 months/ shed true blood to do stuff with my true love/ since now Im hearin anguish and openly despairing shameless/ Ill admit that I want to die on a daily basis/ reasonable and clear voices questions my career choices/ usually going on seems pretty close to near pointless/ Ive cried for hours, bottle of Jack on my lap/ feels like an accident snatched me out of a fantastical past/ sittin here drinkin the hardest liquor quite foul/ thinkin I should get a gun and pull the trigger right now/

C)

Anesthetic so pathetic, get me a medic/ cause another operation left me dying and decrepit/ Its common sense why I lost my sanity and confidence/ I spent 3 years smelling my own rotten flesh/ Spent my life expectin death so to even catch a breath/ just feels like a level met to the devils test/ Lendin this ability from my mental disability/ killin me slowly with my own special instability/ Description poor, had to learn to listen more/ being buried alive cause I feel so insecure/ Ive become so misanthropic it’s like Im dead and rotten/ poppin oxycontin till I couldn’t even stop the vomit/ for blame or for hate Ive always been targeted/ still somehow survived punctured and ripped cartilage/ The cold eats my skin and the heat is sweltering/ but that just makes the grave seem so much more welcoming/
Track Name: Inner Demons ft. Cage (prod. Nath ProdUKtions)
Hurts, because when I needed love I cheated once/ knocked a kid out once and started eating blood/ Spent some time embedded with prescriptions/ this was in addition to my sexual addiction/ every day became a struggle of choosing life or death/ I knew that I could rest after my suicide attempts/ Had fantasies about spraying bullets down school hallways/ torture and execute the cool crews all day/ My brain is lost, overcame by rapist thoughts/ pain like nothing else I came across/ I have a beautiful attraction to music and a passion/ but there’s no stupider distraction than human interaction/ Enraged at that, encaged and trapped, play it back/ wanna erase the facts of why I drop so much pain on tracks, a maniac/ because it all haunts me to the point I want to die honestly/ but can you believe this if I said I lie chronically?/

C) You can keep a secret/ how you feel inside/think about your weakness/ and all the lies/ you can say you're sorry/ like you always do/ doesn't keep the guilt from/ creepin up on you/

Pain murderer take out the aspirin/ never was or will to even really be a has been/ even if I think I can relate I'm vile cause it's innate/ my brain wants the fuck out of Cage like an inmate/ I'm vain if I decorate the canvas from my arteries/ or grew up with a Raven and Rottweiler guarding me/ get on your knees for the most unholy yo/ the only path to choose is psycho or socio/ Self medicated right I shouldn't be mad at all/ sniff kitty caterwaul break it ask is that a law/ is it the end of the planet or just the species/ that's why I get high and stay in the eyes of ETs/ bet the government will kill you for less though/ It's not my catalog this shits my manifesto/

C)

Stolen drug money and the product directly/ with no friends to defend me I was left depressed empty/ All my thinking is secular, I need a drink on the regular/ no link to a messenger as Im just sinking in temperature/ The only thing stronger than my obsession with deaths tomb/ is my urge to grab a slut and have sex in a restroom/ No emotion, it just shows I can’t control it/ told to leave me bitter and hopeless/ Nope, still an addiction and I still feel imprisoned/ in my home reaching out to anyone willing to listen/ about to fall victim to severe alcoholism/ killing any chances of expressing some possible wisdom/ Activate, give me another reason to rap today/ thought maybe I could get accolades from a track with Cage/ Laughing away when asked of my day/ I wanted these to be the last things I say before passing away/
Track Name: Addicted (prod. N95)
Sickness and affliction, Vits addicted to addiction/ not bringin my decisions or the wisdom of my mission/I just wanna chill and drink like no tomorrow/ and when tomorrow comes crawl back inside my bottle/ Here it’s the best, we got the beer on the deck/ and you never really expect the feeling you get/ Endin it tonight, need something better for my life/ the only issue is that pleasure is my vice/ It’s in my DNA, when my demons seem to play/ beggin me for E&J just so they can keep at bay/ No limits, my goal sits to get so twisted/ down the Colt 45 and move onto the Old English/ cry solider, cause about now the times over/ so fucked up cant even look someone in the eyes sober/ Pain is set, same regrets to stay depressed/ until Im found drank to death by a bottle of Wray and Neph/

C) Im so lifted/ so so addicted/ Im still here in this lonely place/ all alone in outer space/ Im so lifted/ so so addicted/ although Im gifted/ Im so addicted/

I suffer from disease of a hunger and a need/ no love that I can feed just a cunt to give my seed/ I beg for peace, end up with some ecstasy/ start by exchanging pleasantries, ends with her havin sex with me/ Addicted to my mistresses, imprisoned by decisions/ even if the thrills of it are contingent on my illnesses/ Is it because Im attention starved, erect and hard/ pressure to spread love far especially if her breasts are large/ they take me low and rape me slow bangin hos with no brains to show/ have em sayin “Oh” and spray a load Im insatiable/ Just a friend to walk with me, itll be endin awkwardly/ cause even talkin cautiously wont stop my thoughts or deeds/ Depends on whether we’re sexing in the bed or texting on the web/ bend until my erection leaves em dead/ Obscene dependency, and it won’t let me be/ won’t stop till this ends in disease or pregnancy/

C)

Its just one stick, nothing significant/ its gonna be a bit if I even trip/ I feel sick, don’t mean to be presumptuous/ but this….hit me like a ton of bricks/ losin my movement, abusing, boozin/ loosen up cruising as the fuckin room spins/ all in the beauty of hallucinogens/ becomes a habit that I come to defend/ it still comes to pass, when the thrill doesn’t last/ then take a shot, drinks up, a pill down the hatch/ calm and seduced and then the second I move/ I feel like Im either going to die, vomit, or puke/ limbs got colder as I made the cross over/ lost my composure as I slipped to not sober/ take whatever pill you got, even in love with molly/ wake up and search to put another drug in my body/
Track Name: The End (prod. The 6th Element) [cuts by DJ case]
Pay to get noticed, pay for promotion/ pay just to open, pay for a bonus/ pay to get hosted, pay for a moment/ are there any kind of patterns you notice?/ even nods and commentary is monetary/ so you tell me what spots are ready/ The game don’t give a shit, its politics and image/original aint livin, just copied shit and gimmicks/ they don’t care what I write, what I say, if I bite/ plainly in light if I say it right like/ Dead in the middle of little Italy fill endearingly/ killin you lyrically spiritually clear to me/ NAH FUCK THAT/ it comes whack but you fans love that/ every cent people are receiving a piece of it/ saying their connection counts since talent is meaningless/ dudes pay for legends aint deserving for a verse/ try to impress by sayin the same regurgitated words/ Whatever happened to art and expression?/ mark an impression, heart and blessin/ they say to succeed you need a car and a chain/ fuck that, I got a heart and a brain/ all they did was abandon the precision musically/ which I could bring back if ever given an opportunity/

C)

Forever music trends have been temporary/ so since when did having swag become necessary/ Shown final, no matter how much time goes/by it’s only so vital for you to go viral/ Neglected directed extended perspectives/ of deserved work ethic and presence/ Get enough buzz, get signed off a mixtape/ oh, but you must also be rich and bitchmade/ Rap about shottys, Bugattis, molly/ bodies, posses, hot freaks, stop me/ when I covered all topics, watered down nonsense/ with nothing of comment or worthy in content/ just promises about being a faithful man/ next song up, bands will make her dance/ they distribute bullshit and simple music/ owning a culture and they don’t even contribute to it/

C)

Rappin when I was 12, got mocked and ridiculed/ horrorcore till 16, they found the spot predictable/ 6 mixtapes in 2 years, nobody checked em/ every new project was like entering bedlam/ Completely out of dominance, no peeps commentin/ then I come out with a whole EP with Anonamix/ Possibly it burns with no profitable returns/ cause all the compliments I earned have no monetary worth/ No sales so I really aint important/ my first 2 made from Sean McCormack/ W.H.I.T.E. gave me the biggest frame but still didn’t have a single gain/ Audio sold 5 on an abysmal plane/ Invested so much and still getting no love/ leak from slow cuts which turn to cold blood/ A few mishaps and too much shit happened/ what Im tryna say is, I quit rap/