Sittin in the bathroom sayin goodbye to my loved ones/ 200 advil, a curse that cant be undone/ Told my girl I loved her before the vomiting started/ the pills and bile mix as I await the departure/ My stomach is burning and churning and hurling/ swirling up the pills and the blood and it’s becoming concerning/ the world spins around me as I begin to get drowsy/ all I can hear are my ears ringing loudly/ Im in trouble I stumble as my sight starts to crumble/ and then I rush to the window in an attempt to let go/ See a view of the city and I cry as I pity/ those still existing and the people who are now living/ the pain is ascending, with God Im amending/ this is the way Im directing how my life is ending/ enough of the stalling to become the dead/ I leaned out the window and jumped from the ledge/

C) Im wasting away/ just seconds away/ I, hated my whole life/ hated my whole life, hated my whole life/ Im wasting away/ time to escape/ I, hated my whole life/ hated my whole life, hated my whole life/

Waking up slow and very tense with my movements/ look around to see Im in an intensive care unit/ and within that Moment I notice 6 bones are broken/ family right there and giving condolence/ concluded paining Im still hallucinating/ Communicating that every slight move is draining/ In a daze all day just how hypnotized feels/ weeks to pave my way into solidified meals/ I was retaught how to walk and speak again/ instead of the suffering keeping me weak and dead/ I get a positive response and a possible dentate/ being visited by surgeons and operable savants/ as soon as I could I was ushered into psychiatric/ they’re finally at it, a cure to whatever I had contracted/ but in two weeks I was free to breathe real air again/ but thinking it was over was nothing less than arrogant/

C)

Regained the lost weight, more tapes where my thoughts lay/ wrong way of life when you’re afraid of your hallway/ all while I would seem cold, feel the healing of my weak bones/ went back to wearing street clothes and climbing up the deep holes/ Than three more surgeries guaranteed to remove hurt with ease/ no certainties worse disease that keeps cursin me/ My focus left, close to death, no content the necrosis spread/ mostly bled only said that I should go home instead/ The operation failed and they severed an artery, dismembered me partially/ can’t amend the hardest piece so they walked away with a part of me/ Writing this in 2012 still without my sense of smell/ intense to tell and far beyond any normal expense as well/ Wracked my brain for a cure, end the pain I endure/ my life is drained to be sure, the hatred so uncontained flowing pure/ cause eventually Ill end up in the morgue as a new arrival paler/ until then Im dying every day as a suicidal failure/

C)